Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Ok, so I’ve have begun somewhere, but how to keep moving forward with joy and gusto?
Often these days I get lost in the jungle of the many projects I am trying to pursue: there is Wildwing, my practice, which with just over two moths is really just a baby; my performance work with its kernel of new ideas; the house in need to be finished decorating; my relationship and friendships needing attention, love and care; my body not getting younger and yes, it’s keeping me here on the planet alive and breathing, so really it’s in need of attention; and the big question how to earn money in the best way at this moment…
With all this buzzing through my mind and heart I often can’t see the trees for the wood, can’t see the bigger picture anymore.
So, Vision, how to keep the BIGGER VISION alive in such times?
How to keep things in proportion?
I worked hard all week, hunched over my laptop, digging myself through emails, researching, and finally creating a blog… on Friday my back hurt, my neck was stiff and I felt miserable and lonely- what’s the point of all this hard work?
My friend Chloe’s 5 Rhythm Dance under the Capricorn full moon brought it all out in sweat and dance- we were invited to let compassion in and let lose the boulders we’d been pushing up the hill all week, all month; and to have compassion with ourselves first of all… and wow, what a wild, ecstatic letting go and letting lose that was there waiting to happen!! Compassion had me see my little one pulling at my tired self’s sleeve, ‘come play, come I show you something great, come lets have some air, some fun!’- I had ignored her all week! But she is the link to the bigger vision and vision is linked to longings, dreams, that which we deeply desire.
The dance let me feel my bigger vision again, which is really one of community, of big projects that embrace big groups of people, collaborative performance projects, Wildwing as a retreat centre, an open house, close friends and a lively relationship… a vision that gets fired by joy, a sense of adventure, by the spirit of the sun, the South, by expansion, play…
It’s the other side of hard-working Capricorn! Yes, I can work hard, always have been, but this was a reminder of letting my wild nature feed my work, feed my visions, otherwise will I dry out, become grumpy, miserable and tired and my vision is all but a murky sauce! It’s the longing for immensity of the sea that will help me to build the ship with others!
Vision: allowing ourselves to see what might be possible, like looking into a clear mirror, envisioning something that is not there yet; allowing a vision to come to us, through us…
Traditionally, in times of big transformations and passage, one would go on a vision quest. Often for days, sitting out in nature, waiting patiently or impatiently for ‘something’ to show itself, for something to come through. Something big, bigger. Something that would infuse one with a sense of purpose, with something bigger than one’s ego….
I think it is powerful to open to bigger visions and scary too; what if we fail? What if the vision is so big we can never imagine really moving through to the end with it? Rumi writes:
‘Looking up gives light, but at first it makes you dizzy. ‘
It’s this dizziness we must risk and maybe it’s none of our business during this first stage to judge or filter! Maybe in this first stage of creating we must allow ourselves to think, envision and dream as big, bold, multi-coloured and multi-dimensional as we can, let through what wants to come. Lift the ceiling higher and if we lose the roof, so be it, it’s great to be under the naked sky! (Try the difference between yoga inside and outside and you know what I mean!)
AND… a BIG vision, anything big starts off small, like Joseph D Compton says:
‘an avalanche begins with a snowflake.’
Or James Allen:
‘The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul, a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities’.
So, lets allow ourselves to dream, to envision what might be!
I am off now to dye my hair blonde! After getting seats offered on the London tube and recently being told I might be 44, I decided it’s time to let go of the ‘80% grey’! I had a taste of it and know I can survive it and part of me quite liked it, but it’s too early… maybe in ten years I’ll wear grey proudly…
I was born blonde, a fair, curly girl, so lets see what happens as a blonde to me! Whether this colour with it’s scary two-page safety instruction will do the trick we will see ( they say if the bottle is shaken it might explode if I don’t snip off the end IMMEDIATELY!!), it’s pretty nerve-wrecking, but no risk no fun…so here I go…
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